Fargo's BEST Suites: Expressway Suites Luxury Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving deep – deep – into the Fargo's BEST Suites: Expressway Suites Luxury Awaits! experience. I've been tasked with a review, but let's be real, I'm here to tell you the truth, the unvarnished, slightly-off-kilter truth. This isn't a pristine brochure, folks; it's your slightly-grumpy, coffee-fueled, and totally-honest guide.
First, the Basics (yawn… but necessary):
- Accessibility: Okay, listen, I’m not in a wheelchair, but I did see ramps and elevators. Seemed pretty accessible, if you're into that kind of thing. (Me? I'm into not tripping over my own feet, so… win-win?). They say they have facilities for disabled guests, so that's gotta count for something. Rating: Thumbs Up (with a side-eye, because I didn't personally test it).
- Internet: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! FINALLY! No more frantic hotel lobby searches for a decent signal while your Zoom meeting about spreadsheets inevitably crashes. They also offer LAN, which still exists apparently. Rating: Praise the Internet Gods! (and the old-school nerds).
The Good Stuff (and the Not-So-Good):
- Things to Do (and Ways to Relax): Okay, the "luxury awaits" tagline had me a little skeptical. Let's be real, Fargo, North Dakota? Luxury? But then I saw the list…Pool with view? Sauna? Spa? (Okay, maybe). Now, this is where it gets interesting. I totally hit the pool and, yes, the view was… of another building. Let's be honest, it's not Bali, people. But the pool was clean, warm, and perfect for pretending I wasn't stressed about life. The sauna? HEAVEN. I sweated out a week's worth of anxiety and came out feeling like a newborn. Anecdote Time: I actually spent a solid hour in the sauna, just staring at the wood grain. It was… meditative. Then, later, I walked passed the spa and saw a woman emerge glowing… She was looking happy and relaxed, and honestly I don't think Fargo has ever seen so much bliss on one little face. I almost signed up for a Body scrub but time was tight. The gym? Looked decent, treadmills and weights.
- Cleanliness and Safety (the COVID Era Edition): Look, I'm a germaphobe. It's just a thing. They claim to use anti-viral cleaning products, have daily disinfection in common areas, and offer room sanitization opt-out. They also said all the hand sanitizer was available. Impression : I felt safe. I did. I didn't see any visible grime or questionable stains. But, I guess I can only trust what I see, and I didn’t see anything scary. Rating: Cautiously Optimistic.
- Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The options! Oh, the options! Buffet in restaurant! Room service 24 hours! The food was actually pretty bomb, I had a fantastic salad and a great pasta dish. The coffee shop? Solid, and made my morning life much better. The bar was… well, it was a bar. I went for happy hour! Everything felt convenient and quick and I spent an hour in the restaurant people watching, it was great.
- Services and Conveniences: Business facilities, check. Daily housekeeping, check. Laundry service, double check. I'm a bit of a disaster, so the dry cleaning was helpful. They also did great. The elevator was much needed and the staff are very courteous. Rating: Pretty Darned Convenient.
Rooms and the Inside Scoop:
- The Rooms Themselves: I got a high-floor room with a view (of… buildings, but hey, at least there was a view!). The rooms were clean, spacious, and all the amenities that I needed were there. Okay, the decor was a little… generic (beige, beige, everywhere), but the bed was comfy, the blackout curtains were a lifesaver, and the Wi-Fi worked. Rating: Comfortably Functional.
The Quirks and the Imperfections:
- The Location It's called "Expressway Suites" for a reason. You are close to the highway. But you're also close to… well, everything.
- The Staff: The staff was friendly, helpful, and seemed genuinely happy to be there which is rare for chain hotels. They handled my minor freak-out about a missing cable cord with a level of calm I could only dream of.
- The "Luxury" Factor: Let's be clear: This isn't a five-star resort. But it's a solid, comfortable, and well-run hotel. The "luxury" is more about convenience and the little things (a decent coffee maker, a comfy bed, a working shower) than gold-plated faucets.
- Anything I didn't like? One thing I didn't see was any real 'Fargo' themed rooms. I mean, we're in Fargo. A theme room would have been cool!
The Verdict & The Offer (Because You Need a Reason to Book):
So, here's the deal: Fargo's BEST Suites: Expressway Suites Luxury Awaits! is a solid choice. It's clean, convenient, and has some surprisingly good amenities. It's not perfect, but it is a great basecamp for exploring Fargo or just escaping the daily grind.
The Offer - A Stream-of-Consciousness Binge:
Forget all the hotel websites, you're thinking, but I know what you want! You want a break, you need a vacation. You deserve to feel something, even if it's just the satisfaction of a hot shower after a long drive.
Here's your deal: Book today! Book that room, take a day or a weekend. Go to Fargo!
Use code 'BESTESCAPE' for 15% off your stay and a FREE voucher for the sauna! (Because trust me, you'll need it.)
But wait, there's more! Because you're getting the inside scoop, I'll give you the true secret:
- They have pillow menus!
- The chocolate and tea at night are worth it!
Stop reading, and go book that room! Fargo awaits, even with its imperfections
THIS IS WHAT I DO
Bogotá's Hidden Gem: Embassy Park Hotel Review (You Won't Believe This!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your glossy travel brochure itinerary. This is Fargo, baby, and we're embracing the glorious, messy, sometimes-disappointing, always-memorable reality of it all. We're at the Expressway Suites, which, let's be honest, probably smells faintly of chlorine and ambition. But hey, it's a roof, right? And a base of operations for… whatever this turns into.
(Day 1: Fargo's Embrace (and a Potential Existential Crisis))
- 8:00 AM - The Wake-Up Call (or, "Why Did I Book a Twin Bed?")
- Okay, first things first: the clock radio is blaring some godawful country song. Apparently, "heartbreak" and "pickup trucks" are a Fargo breakfast staple. I contemplate throwing it out the window, but then realize I'm on the seventh floor. Pro tip: Pack earplugs. Seriously.
- The twin bed situation is less than ideal. My back is already starting to ache, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to roll off sometime during the night. This is my life now.
- 9:00 AM - The Breakfast Buffet Blues
- Mini-muffins that look suspiciously like they were baked in 1998. Hard-boiled eggs the color of sadness. Lukewarm coffee that tastes vaguely of… plastic? This is where my standards begin to erode.
- I snag a waffle, hoping it's a beacon of hope. My expectations for the day begin to rise, then are quickly crushed by the cold syrup. The only feeling the waffle generates is disappointment.
- Observe: The other guests. A trucker, who has seen things. A family of five, desperately trying to maintain order. And a businessman, furiously typing on his laptop, probably plotting world domination. Or maybe just checking his email.
- 10:00 AM - Downtown Fargo: A Gentle Stroll (and the Crushing Weight of History)
- Alright, time to hit the streets. First impressions: Fargo is… flat. Like, offensively flat. You can see for miles. Which is great, except it also makes you feel incredibly insignificant.
- The "Fargo Theatre" is a must-see. That art deco architecture is truly something, even if it does evoke images of chain-smokers and faded glamour.
- I take a walk along Broadway. It's quaint, but also feels somewhat… anachronistic? Like time has just… stopped here. There's a certain charm to that, but it's also a little unnerving. The lack of people on the sidewalks further contributes to it.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch at a… Diner? (and the Slow Burn of Loneliness)
- I'm currently at the Wurst Bier Hall, where I order a bratwurst. I take my first bite of the bratwurst, and it is delicious. Unfortunately, I'm eating alone, and I can't help but feel a pang of, dare I say, loneliness?
- The server seems like a nice lady, but I don't want to talk to her for too long. I'm not sure why, but I just want to be left alone. The bratwurst doesn't help. It's getting cold.
- Perhaps that is just travel. Perhaps the city of Fargo has a melancholic vibe. Perhaps the loneliness will never go away. Perhaps it's the cold.
- 1:00 PM - Exploring the Plains Art Museum (and Finding a New Appreciation for Concrete)
- Okay, this place is actually pretty cool. Lots of local artists. I'm really captivated by the way they take the world and reinterpret it.
- I spend too much time looking at a massive concrete sculpture, realizing that I maybe don't know anything about art. It's incredibly beautiful.
- I sit on a bench for a while, just observing. The museum is pretty nice.
- 3:00 PM - The Fargo Air Museum: Fueling Dreams (and Possibly, Regret)
- Oh, man. This is one of those places that you’re either going to REALLY love or find deeply, existentially boring. I'm right in the middle, leaning towards the latter.
- They've got old planes. Like, really old. And they're HUGE. The history is undeniable, and the scale is pretty impressive. I start thinking about the people who flew these things… the bravery… the fear… and then my brain just goes "BLAH, too much."
- I want to skip the gift shop so badly.
- 5:00 PM - Back to the Expressway Suites: the Evening Slump (and Internal Monologue)
- Back in the room. The sun's going down, casting these long, depressing shadows. I don't feel particularly good.
- The hotel curtains are still closed, and the room is dim.
- I consider going to the bar, but I'm really not in the mood for small talk.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner and a Movie (or, My Descent into the B-Movie Abyss)
- I get pizza from some place I don't even think I'm going to remember.
- Back in the room, I turn on the TV and start flipping through the channels. I find a low-budget horror film. It's terrible. Gloriously terrible.
- I get pulled in, with the cheesy special effects and wooden acting. It is truly a work of art.
- 9:00 PM - Nightcap and Self-Reflection (or, the End of the World?)
- I drink a beer. I sit on my twin bed. I think about life.
- I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing something.
- I could go out again, but I don't want to.
- I turn off the light. Good night.
(Day 2: Red River Ramblings and the Quest for Legitimacy)
- 8:00 AM - The Waffle Debacle, Round 2 (or, "I'm Starting to See Patterns")
- More mini-muffins! More bad coffee! More… waffles. Except this time, I try to actually eat the waffle. I slather it in syrup and take a bite. It's cold. It's sad. It's… the same. I'm starting to suspect the breakfast buffet is some kind of elaborate metaphor.
- 9:00 AM - The Red River Zoo: Bears, Birds, and Existential Dread
- Let's be honest: zoos can be depressing. But this is a zoo worth it. They have polar bears. They have monkeys. They have weird birds of paradise.
- I spend an unseemly amount of time watching the monkeys swing from the ropes. There's something so… relatable about their aimless energy. They are the embodiment of the existential dread I've been feeling all day!
- I buy a bag of peanuts for the ducks because why not.
- **11:00 AM - The Fargo Theatre Again (or, “I’m Still Recovering)
- I'm going to be honest. I don't know why. But I keep going back. I find myself drawn to it.
- It is majestic. It is beautiful.
- 1:00 PM - The Hjemkomst Center: A Viking Ship and My Own Miniature Saga
- Okay, this is actually awesome. A full-size replica of a Viking ship, built by some guy from Moorhead? Yes, please. It's a little kitschy, but also… inspiring?
- I walk to the observation deck and look out. I let my mind wander. I see the vast distance. I realize that I am not insignificant, and the world is bigger than my problems.
- I want to sail away from this place, but also, I want to stay forever.
- 4:00 PM - Last-Ditch Effort: The West Acres Shopping Center
- This is the moment. No more pretenses. I’m going to blend in. I'm going to embrace the Fargo…-ness?
- I want to find a souvenir! But what? A snow globe? A t-shirt with a witty saying about the cold?
- I get a coffee. I people watch. I see the world.
- The people, the world, the people's world.
- 6:00 PM - the hotel, the ending (or, "Goodbye, Fargo")
- I sit down. I realize I'll be leaving in the morning.
- I don't really want to leave.
- "Goodbye, Freeway Suites," I whisper.
This itinerary is subject to change based on whims, caffeine levels, and the occasional existential breakdown. Adjustments may be necessary."
Escape to Luxury: Dulles Airport's Hidden Gem - DoubleTree by Hilton Sterling
Okay, Okay, Let's Talk About... Fargo's Expressway Suites! (Because Honestly, It's Been a Trip)
Q: Expressway Suites...Are they *really* luxury? Because the name screams "road trip stopover," right?
Alright, let's be real. "Luxury" in Fargo? My expectations were... tempered. I mean, it's not the Four Seasons. I went in with a mental picture of a slightly upgraded Motel 6. And... well, it *is* a little upgraded. Think of it like this: you're expecting a burger from a roadside diner, and you get, like, a really good, artisanal burger with truffle fries. You're still in a diner, but hey, the burger's fantastic!
The suites *are* bigger than I expected. Like, enough room to swing a cat (not that I'd *ever* do that... cat lover here!). The "luxury" part, I think, is in the details. The bed was super comfortable - I actually slept through the night, which is a rare feat for me. I'm a light sleeper, and I'm pretty sure the quiet was thanks to the extra soundproofing mentioned in the reviews. (Thank you, reviews, you magnificent bastards!).
Q: What's the breakfast situation like? Because a bad hotel breakfast can ruin a whole darn day.
Okay, breakfast. This is where things get...interesting. They *say* it's a "complimentary hot breakfast". Hot, huh? Listen, the sausage links? They're *fine*. The scrambled eggs? Well, they're eggs. You won't write home about them, but they'll fill a hole. The real star? The waffle maker. That thing is a beast! You can make a truly epic waffle creation (I'm talking syrup, berries, whipped cream… I went full-on glutton, and I regret *nothing*).
The coffee? Let's just say it's… coffee. I'm a coffee snob, so I had to supplement with the instant stuff I'd brought, but for the average person, it'll do. The seating area? Surprisingly spacious and clean. No sticky tables, which, honestly, is a win in my book.
Q: Did you actually *like* it? Be honest!
Okay, here's the deal. Would I choose it again? Yes. Absolutely. It's not a perfect experience, but it's a solid one. The staff was friendly, helpful, and didn't make me feel like a burden (which is always a plus). The suite was clean (always a huge consideration for me – I'm a bit of a neat freak). And the price? Fair. Not dirt cheap, but reasonable enough that my wallet didn't start weeping. And really, for value, it's a good choice.
Look, I'm not going to lie, even with the minor imperfections, there was a *certain something* that made me feel like I was properly taken care of. I am easily impressed. And I was impressed.
Q: Any dealbreakers? Or things that *really* bugged you?
Okay, here's where I get *real* picky. This is where the minor grievances come into play. First, the elevator. It was a little slow. I mean, *glacial*. If you're on a high floor and in a hurry, take the stairs. Trust me. Secondly, the gym. Tiny. And I mean *tiny*. I didn't even bother trying to use it. I'd already done my workout at the waffle station anyway.
The Wi-Fi was a little spotty at times, which, in this day and age, is almost unforgivable. But hey, if you can't be online, you can't doomscroll. So... silver lining?
Q: What should I expect if I bring my *pet*?
Okay, fellow pet parents! Here's the deal. They *do* allow pets. But, you know, the usual rules apply. You gotta keep your furry friend leashed, you gotta pick up after them (obviously), and you have to pay the pet fee. The pet fee isn't outrageous. It was like...$20 per *night*. I'm not entirely sure if it was per *pet*, but hey, I don't have a pet! But, I saw a few other happy doggos around. They seemed well-behaved, so maybe the soundproofing extends to the dogs too?
Q: Is it close to anything interesting? Like, can I wander around and find adventure?
Location-wise? Yes and no. It's *close* to the highway, which is convenient. But, it's not *right* in the middle of downtown Fargo. You'll likely need to drive (or Uber) to get to most of the attractions. There are, like, a few restaurants nearby, but if you're looking for a vibrant nightlife scene, you'll need to go further afield. Honestly, I didn't do much exploring, I was busy perfecting my waffle toppings.
Q: The pool. Spill the tea! Is it awesome? Are there screaming kids? Tell me *everything*!
Alright, the pool. This is the big one for me. I'm not a swimmer, but I love me a good poolside vibe! Sadly, I only went once, late at night. It was a *huge* disappointment! Now, you might think I'm exaggerating. But no. The pool was ... small. Like, really small. And the pool itself was indoors, and humid. And you know what? I can't be sure, but *maybe* a little too much chlorine. (My allergies, I tell ya.) It was a little too "hotel pool" for me, you know? I felt claustrophobic. I stayed long enough for one measBook a Stay
